Dear Stacy's friend who works at a convenience store and sent a whole case of energy drinks with her to our office as a promotional thing:
I want to thank you for your generosity in thinking about Stacy and the people she works with. Working in an office all day long can actually be quite draining and sitting in front of a computer all day can literally make people lose all will to actually even move their fingers to type...I think that's why voice recognition software was created. Having liquid energy in 16oz cans sitting in our office fridge is hugely convenient.
Anyway, while I am appreciative of the gesture, I thought I would let you know what happened after consuming my first 6 cans during my lunch hour yesterday.
First of all, I was mildly amused by the moniker of "Earth Shattering Energy" on the can...at first. After the third can or so, I realized that this was no "amusing" matter. Truth be told I am a little concerned that my internal organs may not stop violently spasming. I probably should have stopped after the 5th can as the MRI at the ER last night revealed severe bruising of my brain. They asked if I had been in an accident of some kind because it was like my brain had bounced around in my skull violently for hours. I guess it's a good thing they're low-carb...imagine if I'd had all that sugar too!!!
Also, did you know that one serving of that energy drink has 100% recommended daily values of Niacin (B3), 190% of B6 and 180% of B12? Did you also know that there are 2 servings per can? I guess consuming 1200% of B3, 2280% of B6 and 2160% of B12 in under an hour throws your vitamin balance a little off. I couldn't touch a computer for the rest of the day because my body actually absorbed all the A's, C's, D's and E's off every screen and keyboard I came in contact with. Imagine that! I had the energy and will to work, but COULDN'T!
I did some reading on the symptoms of overdosing on B vitamins, but there is one side effect that I suffered that I couldn't seem to correlate and was wondering if you'd heard of it. After about 2 hours and 8 more cans of energy drink, the two separate hemispheres of my brain seemed to begin operating independantly of each other...and without regard to my willful operation of the finer motor functions of my own body, my right arm ripped my left arm clean off my body and started beating me in the face with it. I ran around the office screaming for help, but no one would come near me. And when I say "ran" I'm using the term loosely. My left leg ran, but my right leg stubbornly stood in one place so really I was just spinning around in circles. Have you ever beaten yourself in the face with your own dismembered arm while spinning in circles and screaming? Apparently others see that is "crazy." The blows must have been pretty forceful too because, although the bruising and cracked bones in my face will heal quickly, I am still having trouble finding the middle and ring fingers of my left arm. I think it is important to note at this point that my right arm was the prosthetic one.
As I can generally be a little crazy at work, it took a while for anyone to realize just how serious a reaction I was having. I must have told them over and over I really needed help, but apparently it was coming out as "FADA BADA BADA BADA BLUH BLUH BLUH FFFF THBBBBBB". While this isn't completely unusual for me in the office, this time I hadn't been on a tech support call for the last hour.
Lastly, I thought it interesting to note that until the final 4 cans yesterday I thought the term "jumping out of my skin" was just a euphimism. Did you know seeing a living human body with no skin can actually make people vomit? Although it probably didn't help that my skeleton wasn't much support for all the meat because it had vibrated to almost complete liquification.
Anyway - sorry to go on and on, but I just wanted to thank you again for thinking of us. Aside from the missing fingers, the doctors seem confident that I will be mostly back to normal after a heart transplant, brain surgery, and after they reapply my skin and re-attach my left arm. I look forward to trying the other flavors of that energy drink!
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label humor. Show all posts
Thursday, April 30, 2009
Friday, February 27, 2009
Proof Positive!!!
I came across irrefutable proof that an Apple is not always a good alternative to Windows:
Ok...so here was the scenario:
I was working in yet another one of our new restaurants and what you're seeing in this picture is what will eventually be a drive-thru window. The drive-thru windows have not yet been installed, so the wooden structure is the solution to keep the windows "closed".
Anyway, out of nowhere, I had this idea to go buy an apple from the convenience store next door (yes, they sell fresh fruit in this convenience store), set it on the window sill and snap a picture and make a joke out of it.
I had another caption I was going to try. "This is what happens when a construction foreman overhears the technical team discussing the possibility of installing an Apple instead of Windows."
Either way, I really thought this was hilarious...I think I laughed about it all dang day....hope y'all get a chuckle out of it!
Ok...so here was the scenario:I was working in yet another one of our new restaurants and what you're seeing in this picture is what will eventually be a drive-thru window. The drive-thru windows have not yet been installed, so the wooden structure is the solution to keep the windows "closed".
Anyway, out of nowhere, I had this idea to go buy an apple from the convenience store next door (yes, they sell fresh fruit in this convenience store), set it on the window sill and snap a picture and make a joke out of it.
I had another caption I was going to try. "This is what happens when a construction foreman overhears the technical team discussing the possibility of installing an Apple instead of Windows."
Either way, I really thought this was hilarious...I think I laughed about it all dang day....hope y'all get a chuckle out of it!
Sunday, February 8, 2009
More Silence - And Then Came the Infomercial
Here I am! I've been busy and busy and busy and well...something came up that I just HAVE to share.
For the past week, I have been visiting several of our restaurants before opening time and at closing time to perform some updates to the databases in their registers. This is a fairly arduous task and has been the cause of some sleep deprivation I've had this past week. Every day I have been up some time between 3AM and 4AM (for those of you who are particular about it, that's Central Standard Time), so that I could be in the stores and have the full process completed before they opened their doors at 6. THEN, I would visit a store at 10 and perform the updates and get out of the stores around 12 or 1 (again, central standard time).
There was also work to be done during the day, and I did my best to catch some Z's when I had some down-time, but 2 things kept that from happening: 1) I have a very hard time sleeping during the day and 2) People have a very hard time calling me without making my phone ring. So...even if I did happen to doze off, my phone would ring within a few minutes and wake me up. Even sleeping at night was tough this week because of all the thinking involved in getting this done right - it was hard to turn my brain off when it was actually time to sleep. So most days I was on less than 4 hours of sleep and even one day I was on 1.5 hours of sleep.
I'm not sure why I'm telling you all this except for maybe it sets the stage for the kind of mood I was in this particular morning.
You see, Friday night was the first night I was able to get more than 4 hours of sleep. I probably would have slept until 9 or 10 had my phone not rang at 7:20. I had also taken my pain medicine the night before so I was pretty groggy. But...all in all, I was in a decent mood because I was going to GO HOME (3 Hour drive from where I was).
So I go down for a continental breakfast and sit down with a bagel, some yogurt and a banana. I turn to the large, flat-screen tv mounted on the wall which has the sound turned down. I am watching what appears to be some kind of shopping network or something. I can't really tell what's going on since there's no sound, but usually, one can deduce what's going on in an infomercial, right? WRONG!
There are two people on the screen. One man and one woman. The man appears to be the informercial salesman and the woman appears to be the infomercial oooooooh-and-aaaaahhhh person. I see the man take something that looks like a large phone receiver and stick it to a wall. When I say it looked like a phone receiver, I mean it looked a lot like the photo to the left, except the color was white, there was no cord, and the round parts were much bigger. It looked like some make shift wall-handle. My first thought was, "Oh, yes - because I've always wanted a handle...ON MY WALL!!!!" Funny, yes, but I thought I'd continue watching to see what the purpose for this phone-receiver-looking wall-mountable handle might actually be.
No such lu
ck. The man moved on to another bizarre task. He took 4 or 5 rectangular and brightly-colored sponges and put them on the table in front of the woman. He then takes a chef's knife (as pictured to the right) and presses down on the stack of sponges. I think "Oh - the guy is going to cut sponges with a knife...but what's with the handle on the wall?"
Patiently I wait for the answer to the wall-handle question and continue to push down on the stack of sponges and nothing happens. Well, the sponges compress but there is no cutting going on.
So the guy reaches over and starts sharpening the knife. I think to myself, "Ohhh....he's going to sharpen the knife and THEN cut the sponges. He's selling a knife sharpener! But what's with the handle ON THE WALL????"
So he finishes sharpening the knife and presses the knife down on the sponges. This time quite a bit harder. I'm thinking "If pressing harder did the trick then how am I supposed to know if your sharpener worked, bright guy?"
But, once again, nothing. The woman is smiling and nodding and saying something, but I don't know what. For all I know she could be saying, "If you keep trying to cut the sponges, maybe people won't notice the large plastic handle on the wall right next to me!"
So the guy starts sharpening the knife again. If it's an informercial for the knife sharpener, this is not going well.
So he takes his twice-sharpened chef's knife and pressed down really hard on the sponges this time he starts sawing at the sponges...NOTHING! The woman picks up the top sponge and looks at a tiny cut in the top of it and looks like she's impressed that he was actually able to cut a small slit into the sponge. I'm thinking "Yay, he sharpened it enough to cut a SPONGE; NOW I can use it to cut MEAT! NOW WHAT'S WITH THE HANDLE ON THE WALL?????"
As if to press my insanity over the wall handle to new levels and confuse everything that makes up my mental capacity, the guy then reaches over and picks up a generic can of cola and a square of carpet. "OHHHHH...", I think to myself, "He's selling SPONGES. He's going to make a mess and clean it up!"
So the guy proceeds to dump the entire contents of the can of generic cola onto the square of carpet that is now sitting ont he counter right next to the sponges in front of the woman. "I called THAT!"
Nope!
He then reaches over and picks up a large chamois and starts mopping the cola up off the carpet. At this point I'm thinking "Ok, so the guy is nothing more than a raving lunatic who wants to cut sponges and when that doesn't work he has to throw a tantrum by dumping his soda all over the counter and then feels guilt-ridden enough to mop up the mess...BUT WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THAT FREAKING HANDLE ON THE WALL?????????"
I am sorry to report that I have no idea what that was all about. I don't know why the guy dumped out the soda and mopped it up. I don't know why he tried THREE TIMES to cut a stack of colorful sponges. In fact, had the sound been on, I'd almost be willing to bet that he tried to cut the sponges the woman remarked "WOW! Those are some TOUGH SPONGES!!!" and then he would have replied, "Yeah...too bad they can't clean for CRAP! So here's a chamois!!!"
And...I.DON'T.KNOW.WHY.HE.PUT.A.HANDLE.ON.THE.WALL!!!!!
Please...PLEASE...one of my readers out there...PLEASE tell me that you've seen this infomercial and can fill me in on what it was all about! My mental wellness may very well depend on it!!!
For the past week, I have been visiting several of our restaurants before opening time and at closing time to perform some updates to the databases in their registers. This is a fairly arduous task and has been the cause of some sleep deprivation I've had this past week. Every day I have been up some time between 3AM and 4AM (for those of you who are particular about it, that's Central Standard Time), so that I could be in the stores and have the full process completed before they opened their doors at 6. THEN, I would visit a store at 10 and perform the updates and get out of the stores around 12 or 1 (again, central standard time).
There was also work to be done during the day, and I did my best to catch some Z's when I had some down-time, but 2 things kept that from happening: 1) I have a very hard time sleeping during the day and 2) People have a very hard time calling me without making my phone ring. So...even if I did happen to doze off, my phone would ring within a few minutes and wake me up. Even sleeping at night was tough this week because of all the thinking involved in getting this done right - it was hard to turn my brain off when it was actually time to sleep. So most days I was on less than 4 hours of sleep and even one day I was on 1.5 hours of sleep.
I'm not sure why I'm telling you all this except for maybe it sets the stage for the kind of mood I was in this particular morning.
You see, Friday night was the first night I was able to get more than 4 hours of sleep. I probably would have slept until 9 or 10 had my phone not rang at 7:20. I had also taken my pain medicine the night before so I was pretty groggy. But...all in all, I was in a decent mood because I was going to GO HOME (3 Hour drive from where I was).
So I go down for a continental breakfast and sit down with a bagel, some yogurt and a banana. I turn to the large, flat-screen tv mounted on the wall which has the sound turned down. I am watching what appears to be some kind of shopping network or something. I can't really tell what's going on since there's no sound, but usually, one can deduce what's going on in an infomercial, right? WRONG!
There are two people on the screen. One man and one woman. The man appears to be the informercial salesman and the woman appears to be the infomercial oooooooh-and-aaaaahhhh person. I see the man take something that looks like a large phone receiver and stick it to a wall. When I say it looked like a phone receiver, I mean it looked a lot like the photo to the left, except the color was white, there was no cord, and the round parts were much bigger. It looked like some make shift wall-handle. My first thought was, "Oh, yes - because I've always wanted a handle...ON MY WALL!!!!" Funny, yes, but I thought I'd continue watching to see what the purpose for this phone-receiver-looking wall-mountable handle might actually be.
No such lu
ck. The man moved on to another bizarre task. He took 4 or 5 rectangular and brightly-colored sponges and put them on the table in front of the woman. He then takes a chef's knife (as pictured to the right) and presses down on the stack of sponges. I think "Oh - the guy is going to cut sponges with a knife...but what's with the handle on the wall?"Patiently I wait for the answer to the wall-handle question and continue to push down on the stack of sponges and nothing happens. Well, the sponges compress but there is no cutting going on.
So the guy reaches over and starts sharpening the knife. I think to myself, "Ohhh....he's going to sharpen the knife and THEN cut the sponges. He's selling a knife sharpener! But what's with the handle ON THE WALL????"
So he finishes sharpening the knife and presses the knife down on the sponges. This time quite a bit harder. I'm thinking "If pressing harder did the trick then how am I supposed to know if your sharpener worked, bright guy?"
But, once again, nothing. The woman is smiling and nodding and saying something, but I don't know what. For all I know she could be saying, "If you keep trying to cut the sponges, maybe people won't notice the large plastic handle on the wall right next to me!"
So the guy starts sharpening the knife again. If it's an informercial for the knife sharpener, this is not going well.
So he takes his twice-sharpened chef's knife and pressed down really hard on the sponges this time he starts sawing at the sponges...NOTHING! The woman picks up the top sponge and looks at a tiny cut in the top of it and looks like she's impressed that he was actually able to cut a small slit into the sponge. I'm thinking "Yay, he sharpened it enough to cut a SPONGE; NOW I can use it to cut MEAT! NOW WHAT'S WITH THE HANDLE ON THE WALL?????"
As if to press my insanity over the wall handle to new levels and confuse everything that makes up my mental capacity, the guy then reaches over and picks up a generic can of cola and a square of carpet. "OHHHHH...", I think to myself, "He's selling SPONGES. He's going to make a mess and clean it up!"
So the guy proceeds to dump the entire contents of the can of generic cola onto the square of carpet that is now sitting ont he counter right next to the sponges in front of the woman. "I called THAT!"
Nope!
He then reaches over and picks up a large chamois and starts mopping the cola up off the carpet. At this point I'm thinking "Ok, so the guy is nothing more than a raving lunatic who wants to cut sponges and when that doesn't work he has to throw a tantrum by dumping his soda all over the counter and then feels guilt-ridden enough to mop up the mess...BUT WHAT THE HECK IS WITH THAT FREAKING HANDLE ON THE WALL?????????"
I am sorry to report that I have no idea what that was all about. I don't know why the guy dumped out the soda and mopped it up. I don't know why he tried THREE TIMES to cut a stack of colorful sponges. In fact, had the sound been on, I'd almost be willing to bet that he tried to cut the sponges the woman remarked "WOW! Those are some TOUGH SPONGES!!!" and then he would have replied, "Yeah...too bad they can't clean for CRAP! So here's a chamois!!!"
And...I.DON'T.KNOW.WHY.HE.PUT.A.HANDLE.ON.THE.WALL!!!!!
Please...PLEASE...one of my readers out there...PLEASE tell me that you've seen this infomercial and can fill me in on what it was all about! My mental wellness may very well depend on it!!!
Monday, November 17, 2008
A month of silence rewarded with laughter
Oh, how silent I've been!
The last y'all heard, I was whining about our truck. Well, the truck got fixed and worked fine for a while. Got stuck again yesterday, but it didn't stay stuck this time, so I am not sure what to think.
But...I decided to see what's been going on in Google Analytics since my last post. And I got a good hearty laugh. It was amusing to me when I saw that Obama scary frightening Halloween actually brought someone to my blog. But the gut busting laughter came with dancing monkey basketballs brain.
WHAT THE HECK??? Dancing monkey basketballs brain. That is so incredibly nutzoid that I can't even imagine what would have possessed someone to type that into Google. What's worse is that there are over 1.2 MILLION search results for that!!! And...of ALL THINGS...I am search result NUMBER TWO. That is just freaking awesome!!!
So what has the last month held for me? Well, mostly work and Chiropractic care. I have been visiting my Chiropractor (also my wife's uncle...so since my back cracker is my wife's uncle, I affectionately refer to him as Uncle Cracker) on a regular basis trying to get some relief from my ever-persistent, never ending sciatic nerve pain and back spasms. The good news is I have been feeling a little better. I have actually had some good days in the past month (by good days I mean days where I didn't necessarily feel like I was in pain all day long). The bad news is that there may not be much more relief than that for me.
You see, another MRI was ordered for me. Turns out my back is getting worse. I guess I am not as closely related to Superman as I'd like to think. All the bending, heavy lifting, and other stupid crap that I think I can somehow do without making my back worse (despite the fact that it DOES put me in excruciating pain) is actually making my back worse (DUH!). So I have to start being a whole lot more careful. Dr Uncle Cracker said I need to avoid lifting things that are over 25 lbs (the computers I order from Dell for our new stores are 25.04 lbs in shipping!!!) I need to avoid doing the things that cause me pain.
It is tough to do that. It's hard to avoid doing things that cause you pain when just about everything you do causes you pain. It's also frustrating to know that you SHOULD be able to do certain things (like help carry some heavy stuff), but you can't because it causes you pain. Right now I am having to do some travelling for work, and it's difficult because the road trips are hard on my back and so are the hotel beds. But...gotta do what I gotta do. I'm going to try to find some good lumbar support for the car and a good mattress topper of some kind for the hotel beds.
So anywho...I just thought I'd post a quick note to let y'all know how I'm doing. I know I've been pretty quiet lately, and it's been mostly because I've been so busy during work that when I get home, I just want to veg out. I haven't had much motivation to blog lately. But, we'll see if I can get back on track.
I'll leave you with this...I found this to be particularly hilarious. I'm not even going to give it an intro other than that...just visit this site.
The last y'all heard, I was whining about our truck. Well, the truck got fixed and worked fine for a while. Got stuck again yesterday, but it didn't stay stuck this time, so I am not sure what to think.
But...I decided to see what's been going on in Google Analytics since my last post. And I got a good hearty laugh. It was amusing to me when I saw that Obama scary frightening Halloween actually brought someone to my blog. But the gut busting laughter came with dancing monkey basketballs brain.
WHAT THE HECK??? Dancing monkey basketballs brain. That is so incredibly nutzoid that I can't even imagine what would have possessed someone to type that into Google. What's worse is that there are over 1.2 MILLION search results for that!!! And...of ALL THINGS...I am search result NUMBER TWO. That is just freaking awesome!!!
So what has the last month held for me? Well, mostly work and Chiropractic care. I have been visiting my Chiropractor (also my wife's uncle...so since my back cracker is my wife's uncle, I affectionately refer to him as Uncle Cracker) on a regular basis trying to get some relief from my ever-persistent, never ending sciatic nerve pain and back spasms. The good news is I have been feeling a little better. I have actually had some good days in the past month (by good days I mean days where I didn't necessarily feel like I was in pain all day long). The bad news is that there may not be much more relief than that for me.
You see, another MRI was ordered for me. Turns out my back is getting worse. I guess I am not as closely related to Superman as I'd like to think. All the bending, heavy lifting, and other stupid crap that I think I can somehow do without making my back worse (despite the fact that it DOES put me in excruciating pain) is actually making my back worse (DUH!). So I have to start being a whole lot more careful. Dr Uncle Cracker said I need to avoid lifting things that are over 25 lbs (the computers I order from Dell for our new stores are 25.04 lbs in shipping!!!) I need to avoid doing the things that cause me pain.
It is tough to do that. It's hard to avoid doing things that cause you pain when just about everything you do causes you pain. It's also frustrating to know that you SHOULD be able to do certain things (like help carry some heavy stuff), but you can't because it causes you pain. Right now I am having to do some travelling for work, and it's difficult because the road trips are hard on my back and so are the hotel beds. But...gotta do what I gotta do. I'm going to try to find some good lumbar support for the car and a good mattress topper of some kind for the hotel beds.
So anywho...I just thought I'd post a quick note to let y'all know how I'm doing. I know I've been pretty quiet lately, and it's been mostly because I've been so busy during work that when I get home, I just want to veg out. I haven't had much motivation to blog lately. But, we'll see if I can get back on track.
I'll leave you with this...I found this to be particularly hilarious. I'm not even going to give it an intro other than that...just visit this site.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Google say WHAT?
I'm getting more search engine traffic!
Though - I'm not sure that's something to be proud of. Of course, this site isn't really about anything in specific other than me posting my thoughts and rants and ravings and whatnot. But Google helped get my site some attention with the following search terms:
ant online warehouse (no quotes) - oooooooh...not good for antonline. Though I show up as number 15 for this search, it certainly wasn't a happy post! I still have such a bad taste in my mouth for them that I would absolutely advise AGAINST purchasing with them. They don't have their act together people! You can't reach the people who contact you and they treat you like you're stupid!
Still not holding a grudge...PFFFFFFFT.
And the other search term that brought me some traffic...
dusty turn on hold again (with or without quotes!) - ummmmm...I have no idea what this person might have been looking for. I think they may have just...I dunno...randomly typed a few words into Google and...wow. WHAT? The worst part is that I show up as NUMBER ONE for this search...go ahead, try it! You know you want to. If you haven't already you're just being stubborn...no seriously, you can type it without quotes and I'm number one. You can type it with quotes and it says "No results found..." and then shows the results without quotes. I just don't understand!
Ok, so that was a little fun.
You know - for being just a "fun little blog" I sure have got some wide-spread traffic! I mean, ok...it's probably no big deal. But when I first turned on Google Analytics on my site, I truly anticipated that I'd see a hit here or a hit there and just, you know...whatever. But so far I have gathered traffic from SIXTEEN states and FOUR countries outside the United States. Sure some if it may just be people who happened upon my site and then happened away from my site.
Perhaps it helps that I've started posting more frequently. Whatever it is...I find it really cool.
Anyone else using analytics that has found themselves in awe of what they are seeing?
Though - I'm not sure that's something to be proud of. Of course, this site isn't really about anything in specific other than me posting my thoughts and rants and ravings and whatnot. But Google helped get my site some attention with the following search terms:
ant online warehouse (no quotes) - oooooooh...not good for antonline. Though I show up as number 15 for this search, it certainly wasn't a happy post! I still have such a bad taste in my mouth for them that I would absolutely advise AGAINST purchasing with them. They don't have their act together people! You can't reach the people who contact you and they treat you like you're stupid!
Still not holding a grudge...PFFFFFFFT.
And the other search term that brought me some traffic...
dusty turn on hold again (with or without quotes!) - ummmmm...I have no idea what this person might have been looking for. I think they may have just...I dunno...randomly typed a few words into Google and...wow. WHAT? The worst part is that I show up as NUMBER ONE for this search...go ahead, try it! You know you want to. If you haven't already you're just being stubborn...no seriously, you can type it without quotes and I'm number one. You can type it with quotes and it says "No results found..." and then shows the results without quotes. I just don't understand!
Ok, so that was a little fun.
You know - for being just a "fun little blog" I sure have got some wide-spread traffic! I mean, ok...it's probably no big deal. But when I first turned on Google Analytics on my site, I truly anticipated that I'd see a hit here or a hit there and just, you know...whatever. But so far I have gathered traffic from SIXTEEN states and FOUR countries outside the United States. Sure some if it may just be people who happened upon my site and then happened away from my site.
Perhaps it helps that I've started posting more frequently. Whatever it is...I find it really cool.
Anyone else using analytics that has found themselves in awe of what they are seeing?
Friday, October 3, 2008
Most Frightening Halloween Display EVER
Before I post this I have to say:
Rock Chick - I PROMISE...I got these pictures BEFORE your "We the People" post!
I went to Walgreen's yesterday to pick up some stuff Crystal requested and when I walked in I saw something that made meturn around and run screaming from the building walk out to my car and get my camera. Observe what I am calling the most frightening Halloween display EVER!
I swear this isn't photo-chopped people! Go ahead...click on it...blow it up...take a good close look at who's standing next to Freddy and Jason! AND THE SCARIEST IS ON BOTH ENDS! LOL!
I wish I knew if the person who set up this display was being snarky or if they were just thinking "they are dolls, put them all together." Either way...I found it HILARIOUS.
Rock Chick - I PROMISE...I got these pictures BEFORE your "We the People" post!
I went to Walgreen's yesterday to pick up some stuff Crystal requested and when I walked in I saw something that made me
I swear this isn't photo-chopped people! Go ahead...click on it...blow it up...take a good close look at who's standing next to Freddy and Jason! AND THE SCARIEST IS ON BOTH ENDS! LOL!
I wish I knew if the person who set up this display was being snarky or if they were just thinking "they are dolls, put them all together." Either way...I found it HILARIOUS.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
SURPRISE!
NO TRUCK!!!
*Sigh* well, I feel like being nice about it because the guy sounded so apologetic when I called for an update, but apparently getting the brakes fixed on our truck was so time consuming that they couldn't find time to finish the whole airbag light problem. According to the manager, the part for the airbag light thing came in, but not until later in the afternoon. They got whatever needed disassembling disassembled, but they're not quite ready to put it all back together yet. Perhaps they really just forgot how...
So, we will supposedly get the truck back tomorrow. I know they're doing me a favor by fixing my truck, but why do they have to forget that I'm doing them a favor by giving them my business? It's just so frustrating.
On a much less serious note:
I'm not sure how many of my readers are also readers of my wife's blog, but I know there's at least a couple of you out there. For those of you who are NOT my wife's readers, it might behoove you (did I really just use that word?) to check out her post about the 11 boxes of the same thing and get a laugh when she talks about her paranoia of clicking submit incorrectly. She said in her post:
"Pushing that submit button, you must understand, sends a jolt of panic up and down my spine and I click it as quickly and as lightly as I possibly can so as to not awake the multiple-click-submit-button-dragon, angering him and causing him to charge my credit card multiple times."
Well, we were talking about that post today. Of course, knowing my wife, I knew she was being silly and creative and funny. What I DIDN'T know was that she actually is a little paranoid about that submit button! The sites always say "CLICK SUBMIT ONLY ONCE" in big bold letters and it makes her nervous that she's going to do it wrong. She literally clicks it as quickly and as lightly as she possibly can to avoid being misinterpreted by the submit button!
I thought that was funny. So I said, "you seriously do that?"
As if to justify her neurosis, she goes on to say, "well, you have to be careful because what if you lose control of your finger..." I REALLY don't know what she said after that because I was lost in a fit of uncontrollable laughter! I could not stop laughing at the image of someone losing control of that blasted finger that clicks the mouse!
Crystal, I love you with all of my heart...but you need help! Especially if you are having problems with occasionally losing control of your fingers!
I admit there's a chance that you "had to be there" in order for that to be as funny as it really was...but what's worse is as I'm posting this, she's STILL trying to justify that you just never know...it COULD happen!
*Sigh* well, I feel like being nice about it because the guy sounded so apologetic when I called for an update, but apparently getting the brakes fixed on our truck was so time consuming that they couldn't find time to finish the whole airbag light problem. According to the manager, the part for the airbag light thing came in, but not until later in the afternoon. They got whatever needed disassembling disassembled, but they're not quite ready to put it all back together yet. Perhaps they really just forgot how...
So, we will supposedly get the truck back tomorrow. I know they're doing me a favor by fixing my truck, but why do they have to forget that I'm doing them a favor by giving them my business? It's just so frustrating.
On a much less serious note:
I'm not sure how many of my readers are also readers of my wife's blog, but I know there's at least a couple of you out there. For those of you who are NOT my wife's readers, it might behoove you (did I really just use that word?) to check out her post about the 11 boxes of the same thing and get a laugh when she talks about her paranoia of clicking submit incorrectly. She said in her post:
"Pushing that submit button, you must understand, sends a jolt of panic up and down my spine and I click it as quickly and as lightly as I possibly can so as to not awake the multiple-click-submit-button-dragon, angering him and causing him to charge my credit card multiple times."
Well, we were talking about that post today. Of course, knowing my wife, I knew she was being silly and creative and funny. What I DIDN'T know was that she actually is a little paranoid about that submit button! The sites always say "CLICK SUBMIT ONLY ONCE" in big bold letters and it makes her nervous that she's going to do it wrong. She literally clicks it as quickly and as lightly as she possibly can to avoid being misinterpreted by the submit button!
I thought that was funny. So I said, "you seriously do that?"
As if to justify her neurosis, she goes on to say, "well, you have to be careful because what if you lose control of your finger..." I REALLY don't know what she said after that because I was lost in a fit of uncontrollable laughter! I could not stop laughing at the image of someone losing control of that blasted finger that clicks the mouse!
Crystal, I love you with all of my heart...but you need help! Especially if you are having problems with occasionally losing control of your fingers!
I admit there's a chance that you "had to be there" in order for that to be as funny as it really was...but what's worse is as I'm posting this, she's STILL trying to justify that you just never know...it COULD happen!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Pink Jeep License Plate
That's the ONLY Google search that has resulted in a hit on my blog so far. As I told you before I went ahead and installed Google Analytics on my blog so that I could see what's going on with my blog and I was actually kind of impressed. Ok, so I'm not reaching the masses, but I really kinda thought that I was really only typing for me and like 2 readers. (One of those readers being my wife!)
So after a little waiting I finally saw that I had a Google search bring someone to my blog. What I had to say about that abomination of a Pink Jeep obviously wasn't what they were looking for because, according to Google Analytics, their average time on my site was 00:00.
I was just looking at the rest of the information and I am, I have to say, really astounded! So far, have had hits from 10 states within the US and 3 additional countries! I'm an INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTAR!!!
Ok...so maybe I'm not an international superstar, but I'm definitely getting more exposure than I thought!
I just have one question...WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE???
It's enough to turn a man paranoid to know so many people are looking in but so few are actually saying anything...it's like they're sneaking up on me...
So after a little waiting I finally saw that I had a Google search bring someone to my blog. What I had to say about that abomination of a Pink Jeep obviously wasn't what they were looking for because, according to Google Analytics, their average time on my site was 00:00.
I was just looking at the rest of the information and I am, I have to say, really astounded! So far, have had hits from 10 states within the US and 3 additional countries! I'm an INTERNATIONAL SUPERSTAR!!!
Ok...so maybe I'm not an international superstar, but I'm definitely getting more exposure than I thought!
I just have one question...WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE???
It's enough to turn a man paranoid to know so many people are looking in but so few are actually saying anything...it's like they're sneaking up on me...
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Dancing Monkeys - the explanation
I feel as though I owe it to my readers to explain my wife's comment on my "bloggy ideas" post about dancing monkeys.
In case you didn't get to see her response, she said, "I think you should blog about dancing monkeys. Because obviously, they are a driving force to your madness. And then blog about how awesome I am."
You see, I was on the phone with a good friend of mine the other day and I can't remember what spawned me saying this, but I said, "DANCE, MONKEY! DANCE!" I think we were talking about our respective difficult days at work or something and while he was telling me about his day I said it as if I were the organ grinder making his day so difficult.
Well, he let the comment go, but later on in the conversation he said something that made me say it again. Then he said something that indicated disappointment and I said, "CRY, MONKEY! CRY!" I guess I was in a weird mood, but then he said, "That sounds so familiar! Where did you get that?"
I said, "as far as I know, I made it up." Turns out - I didn't.
Ok, so maybe I DID come up with it all my own, because the Google searches I did for the phrase "dance monkey dance" came up with stuff I had never heard of. Over 37,000 hits for the exact phrase "dance monkey dance"!!! Looks like there's games, videos, all kinds of stuff. I could hardly believe it! I was so very disappointed. I was astonished. I was perplexed. I was driving my wife nuts with my absolute awe over the fact that "dance monkey dance" was such a widely used phrase on the internet.
Oh - and my wife is awesome! :-)
In case you didn't get to see her response, she said, "I think you should blog about dancing monkeys. Because obviously, they are a driving force to your madness. And then blog about how awesome I am."
You see, I was on the phone with a good friend of mine the other day and I can't remember what spawned me saying this, but I said, "DANCE, MONKEY! DANCE!" I think we were talking about our respective difficult days at work or something and while he was telling me about his day I said it as if I were the organ grinder making his day so difficult.
Well, he let the comment go, but later on in the conversation he said something that made me say it again. Then he said something that indicated disappointment and I said, "CRY, MONKEY! CRY!" I guess I was in a weird mood, but then he said, "That sounds so familiar! Where did you get that?"
I said, "as far as I know, I made it up." Turns out - I didn't.
Ok, so maybe I DID come up with it all my own, because the Google searches I did for the phrase "dance monkey dance" came up with stuff I had never heard of. Over 37,000 hits for the exact phrase "dance monkey dance"!!! Looks like there's games, videos, all kinds of stuff. I could hardly believe it! I was so very disappointed. I was astonished. I was perplexed. I was driving my wife nuts with my absolute awe over the fact that "dance monkey dance" was such a widely used phrase on the internet.
Oh - and my wife is awesome! :-)
Friday, September 26, 2008
Nothing, Something, and an Email Update.
If anyone read my "please help me" blog and didn't comment - SHAME ON YOU! Just kidding...
But now I have to explain someone. That is - James.
Before I go any further, I want to point out a new feature on my blog. I owe the idea to...well...whoever came up with it. But I owe COMPLETION of the idea to both Anna and James who commented on my last post. Of course, James was just being sarcastic. I'll bet he didn't even know he was saying something helpful. But, thanks to Anna letting me know that I could get the code for enabling E-Mail subscriptions to my blog. Now if you look in the upper right hand corner (go ahead and look now) you can type in your email address and get updates to my blog! Anna, I'll see what I can come up with for your blogging ideas, but for now, I have to continue with my verbal thrashing of one of my best friends from high school.
Depending on how you know me, you might already know who James is. If you don't know who he is then before I go on this tirade about his comment on my "please help me" post (link above if you haven't seen it), I want to make it clear that this is a friendly tirade. It's typical of our sense of humor and friendship and now that I know he's visited my site, "it's on!"
All seriousness aside, James is one of the most fluent sarcasm masters I know. And by masters, I mean that was even his major in college and he got his masters in sarcasm. But I guess that's needed in order to teach! That's what he does...he teaches. And I know he had to hone his sarcasm skills in order to teach because I remember the teachers WE had!
James commented that I should continue to blog about having nothing to blog about. Sorry, James. That idea was already used in television. I think it was called "Seinfeld" and you can now catch it in syndication.
He also commented that when he looked at his reader it would tell him that that there was a new blog post about not having anything to blog about. I'm pretty certain that this "reader" is one of his students. James can't read. He has someone he picks out to do his reading for him.
His comment about emailing people when there's new information on my the feed from my blog was intended to be completely sarcastic (trust me, I know him), but little did he know that I can actually do that! And now I have. James, have one of your students put their email address in there so they can let you know when there's more "nothing" on my blog.
He also mentioned using text messages to update people when there's an email about there being a feed about there being more on my blog. This was just a defense mechanism trying to not let on that he can't read. That was actually code for "You should call me when you have a new post! But if it's after school hours, you'll have to read it to me!"
The fact that he mentioned Morse Code is just a façade. It's a fluke he actually mentioned a legitimate, albeit antiquated, method of communication.
Ok - I think I'm done for now.
James, thanks for letting me bully you on my blog. Although you may not have seen it coming, I'm sure you'll take it in stride. In fact, you might even have one of your students type up a blog for you in vengeance!
I'm guessing his comments actually spawned from the fact that I posted a message on my facebook account saying that I had posted a blog looking for ideas on what to post. Hey! In my defense, I was trying to get the word out to the people that I know that I am looking for more ideas on what to blog about. I'm also looking for more exposure, so if you think you know someone who would enjoy my writing, feel free to pass along a link!
Bring on those ideas!
But now I have to explain someone. That is - James.
Before I go any further, I want to point out a new feature on my blog. I owe the idea to...well...whoever came up with it. But I owe COMPLETION of the idea to both Anna and James who commented on my last post. Of course, James was just being sarcastic. I'll bet he didn't even know he was saying something helpful. But, thanks to Anna letting me know that I could get the code for enabling E-Mail subscriptions to my blog. Now if you look in the upper right hand corner (go ahead and look now) you can type in your email address and get updates to my blog! Anna, I'll see what I can come up with for your blogging ideas, but for now, I have to continue with my verbal thrashing of one of my best friends from high school.
Depending on how you know me, you might already know who James is. If you don't know who he is then before I go on this tirade about his comment on my "please help me" post (link above if you haven't seen it), I want to make it clear that this is a friendly tirade. It's typical of our sense of humor and friendship and now that I know he's visited my site, "it's on!"
All seriousness aside, James is one of the most fluent sarcasm masters I know. And by masters, I mean that was even his major in college and he got his masters in sarcasm. But I guess that's needed in order to teach! That's what he does...he teaches. And I know he had to hone his sarcasm skills in order to teach because I remember the teachers WE had!
James commented that I should continue to blog about having nothing to blog about. Sorry, James. That idea was already used in television. I think it was called "Seinfeld" and you can now catch it in syndication.
He also commented that when he looked at his reader it would tell him that that there was a new blog post about not having anything to blog about. I'm pretty certain that this "reader" is one of his students. James can't read. He has someone he picks out to do his reading for him.
His comment about emailing people when there's new information on my the feed from my blog was intended to be completely sarcastic (trust me, I know him), but little did he know that I can actually do that! And now I have. James, have one of your students put their email address in there so they can let you know when there's more "nothing" on my blog.
He also mentioned using text messages to update people when there's an email about there being a feed about there being more on my blog. This was just a defense mechanism trying to not let on that he can't read. That was actually code for "You should call me when you have a new post! But if it's after school hours, you'll have to read it to me!"
The fact that he mentioned Morse Code is just a façade. It's a fluke he actually mentioned a legitimate, albeit antiquated, method of communication.
Ok - I think I'm done for now.
James, thanks for letting me bully you on my blog. Although you may not have seen it coming, I'm sure you'll take it in stride. In fact, you might even have one of your students type up a blog for you in vengeance!
I'm guessing his comments actually spawned from the fact that I posted a message on my facebook account saying that I had posted a blog looking for ideas on what to post. Hey! In my defense, I was trying to get the word out to the people that I know that I am looking for more ideas on what to blog about. I'm also looking for more exposure, so if you think you know someone who would enjoy my writing, feel free to pass along a link!
Bring on those ideas!
Thursday, April 10, 2008
May I take your order...
and SHOVE IT DOWN YOUR THROAT???
OH...MY...GOSH...
You would NOT believe the experience I just had at Bennigan's. Before I start, please let me say that I am typing this and LAUGHING...this is not an angry post.
After a long day of working hard, my co-worker and I decided to have dinner at Bennigan's. It just sounded good. We walked in, we were seated...enter Kevin.
Kevin (obviously one of the newest guys in the restaurant) handed us our menus and asked us what we'd like to drink. I don't think I've ever heard such a thick southern drawl being spoken in such a rapid New York style pace! We placed our drink order and before we even opened our menus he said, "Are y'all ready to order yet or do you need a couple of minutes?"
Um...we need a couple of minutes. I've been a waiter and I know how nerve-wracking it can be when you're first getting started, but HOLY COW...we hadn't even opened our menus yet! So he goes away and comes back with our drinks in about 30 seconds (I would swear he was hopped up on SOMETHING) and says "Are y'all ready to order yet?"
Um...no! At this point, it's already comical. But something on the menu had caught my eye and I decided to ask about it. They had a "Lucky Three" combo that allowed you to pick an appetizer, an entree and a dessert. That's what the menu said. It did not, however, list a price. So I asked Kevin, "so what's with this Lucky Three combo?" Most experienced wait staff would proceed to say something along the lines of, "Well, for 10.99, you can order an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert from this list." Not Kevin, he takes the menu from me and starts reading to me exactly what I had already read...without the price.
Trying to be patient and trying not to laugh I asked how much for the combo. He tells me 10.99 and then asks us if we're ready to order. Keep in mind this conversation has lasted all of about 30 seconds. I tell him we'll need another minute and my co-worker, trying to stifle his laughter, says "I'll wave you down when we're ready."
So we review the choices of appetizer, entree and dessert for this combo and make our decisions on what we want to eat. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kevin standing less than 10 feet away just watching us like a hawk! I glance up...barely make eye contact and he is on his way over.
So my co-worker places his order first. He asks for a caesar salad, but with ranch dressing. Kevin can't believe his ears! "You want RANCH on your CAESAR salad??? What...do you want it on the side or something?"
My co-worker tries to explain how this is normally accomplished..."well, don't put the caesar dressing on it....just the ranch."
"Ohhhhhh...so you don't want the caesar dressing on it, but you want the ranch on the side."
"Sure." Again...he's trying not to laugh at this poor guy. He proceeds to order his entree which is a cajun chicken and shrimp pasta dish. It's supposed to be served on fettuccine. Apparently they are out of fettuccine...but our green waiter says, "We are out of the noodles...is the thick round pasta [penne] ok?"
My mind is swimming with ways to keep from laughing at this guy. I feel bad for him, but at the same time, it's HILARIOUS. He should not yet be trying to serve a table on his own! Next, my co-worker has to order his dessert. "I'll take Abbey's Apple Sizzler."
"Apple chiseler?" WHAT???"Oh, apple sizzler."
*WHEW* ok...now it's my turn. I order the buffalo wings (pretty easy for him to jot down). I also order the Cajun chicken and shrimp pasta...and then I order the "death by chocolate" dessert. I watch as he's writing with his neon-green gel pen and realize that as I am telling him what dessert I want, he's still writing the word "and" as he's getting through writing the WHOLE DISH NAME down that I ordered. I used to be a waiter and know that typically they try to abbreviate as much as possible to be quick. Then I watch him try to write the dessert I ordered...
B B B Death...
Congratulations, Kevin! You learned to abbreviate the order. Took you a minute to figure out how to spell it, but you wrote just DEATH!
He tells us it'll be about 15 minutes and then offers me a refill on my diet pepsi that is less than half-way gone. Ok...so far, decent, if not very fast-paced, service.
For the next several minutes, we laugh about what other occupations Kevin may or may not be suited to work. He is kind of tied up helping someone with a large party order, and we're not in much of a hurry, so we don't mind waiting. Finally, after about 10 or 15 minutes, out come our appetizers...YAY!!! We were both famished! "Sorry that took so long guys! Kinda busy over there! Here are your appetizers."
"No problem. Thanks."
He walks away and in less than a minute returns with our entrees. Ok...a little quick on the entree, but neither of us is complaining. So we make it through the appetizers and start on our entrees and both of our glasses are refilled again...this time just by bringing replacement drinks while both glasses are still about half-way full. (Not complaining, just explaining). I ask for extra napkins, because we both only started with one. He brings back an inch thick stack of cocktail napkins and 4 wet-wipes. Did we look THAT BAD????
We get a few bites into our entrees when Kevin is back asking if we're ready for our desserts yet and if we'd like to go boxes!!!!!
If I was in a bad mood, this probably would have irritated me, but instead, because of my giddiness over how comical his service was, it was all I could do to stay out of fits of laughter. Seriously??? TO GO BOXES??? We hadn't been eating for more than 5 or 10 minutes! We waited longer than that for our food! As outsiders looking in on these two somewhat dishevelled
(from a long day of hot, tiresome work) loonies laughing as their waiter walked away, we must have looked like we were stoned out of our gourds.
Fast forward to dessert. My co-worker was ready for his dessert before I was, and so his dessert was brought out first. When I was ready for mine, Kevin ran...LITERALLY RAN to the kitchen to get it. He brought it out to me and I began to dig in to something that can only be described as sugar topped with sugar on a sugar crust with sugar drizzled on top. Death by Chocolate was really an appropriate name. I told my co-worker that Kevin must have had 3 of these before work.
After a few minutes and nearing the end of dessert, Kevin walks toward us and asks if we're going to be on the same check. I say we are and he turns around and YELLS to the person at the register "YEAH! THEY'RE ON THE SAME CHECK!" and jogs back to the register. When he brings us the check, he sets it down on the table and as sincere as can be says "Sorry if I made you wait too long for anything."
That was more than either of us could handle. We both busted out in laughter before he started walking away. I asked my co-worker "Did he SERIOUSLY just say that???" The only way we could have waited any less time is if he'd had the drinks on the table before we were seated and was bringing us the meal as we read the menus ON THE WAY to our table! I was surprised he didn't somehow already have my credit card to bring back to me with the check when he brought it the first time!
I paid the check, tipped him well, because really...he deserved it. And headed out the door. I couldn't help it...as I walked out I asked the host if Kevin was new...as if I needed validation. She kinda had that "ouch...you really had to ask" kind of look on her face as she said, "yes". I said, "oh, it was good service...just a little quick on the trigger...but he did well!" and we left.
Truly...I hope this was as comical to read as it was to experience!
OH...MY...GOSH...
You would NOT believe the experience I just had at Bennigan's. Before I start, please let me say that I am typing this and LAUGHING...this is not an angry post.
After a long day of working hard, my co-worker and I decided to have dinner at Bennigan's. It just sounded good. We walked in, we were seated...enter Kevin.
Kevin (obviously one of the newest guys in the restaurant) handed us our menus and asked us what we'd like to drink. I don't think I've ever heard such a thick southern drawl being spoken in such a rapid New York style pace! We placed our drink order and before we even opened our menus he said, "Are y'all ready to order yet or do you need a couple of minutes?"
Um...we need a couple of minutes. I've been a waiter and I know how nerve-wracking it can be when you're first getting started, but HOLY COW...we hadn't even opened our menus yet! So he goes away and comes back with our drinks in about 30 seconds (I would swear he was hopped up on SOMETHING) and says "Are y'all ready to order yet?"
Um...no! At this point, it's already comical. But something on the menu had caught my eye and I decided to ask about it. They had a "Lucky Three" combo that allowed you to pick an appetizer, an entree and a dessert. That's what the menu said. It did not, however, list a price. So I asked Kevin, "so what's with this Lucky Three combo?" Most experienced wait staff would proceed to say something along the lines of, "Well, for 10.99, you can order an appetizer, an entree, and a dessert from this list." Not Kevin, he takes the menu from me and starts reading to me exactly what I had already read...without the price.
Trying to be patient and trying not to laugh I asked how much for the combo. He tells me 10.99 and then asks us if we're ready to order. Keep in mind this conversation has lasted all of about 30 seconds. I tell him we'll need another minute and my co-worker, trying to stifle his laughter, says "I'll wave you down when we're ready."
So we review the choices of appetizer, entree and dessert for this combo and make our decisions on what we want to eat. Out of the corner of my eye I see Kevin standing less than 10 feet away just watching us like a hawk! I glance up...barely make eye contact and he is on his way over.
So my co-worker places his order first. He asks for a caesar salad, but with ranch dressing. Kevin can't believe his ears! "You want RANCH on your CAESAR salad??? What...do you want it on the side or something?"
My co-worker tries to explain how this is normally accomplished..."well, don't put the caesar dressing on it....just the ranch."
"Ohhhhhh...so you don't want the caesar dressing on it, but you want the ranch on the side."
"Sure." Again...he's trying not to laugh at this poor guy. He proceeds to order his entree which is a cajun chicken and shrimp pasta dish. It's supposed to be served on fettuccine. Apparently they are out of fettuccine...but our green waiter says, "We are out of the noodles...is the thick round pasta [penne] ok?"
My mind is swimming with ways to keep from laughing at this guy. I feel bad for him, but at the same time, it's HILARIOUS. He should not yet be trying to serve a table on his own! Next, my co-worker has to order his dessert. "I'll take Abbey's Apple Sizzler."
"Apple chiseler?" WHAT???
*WHEW* ok...now it's my turn. I order the buffalo wings (pretty easy for him to jot down). I also order the Cajun chicken and shrimp pasta...and then I order the "death by chocolate" dessert. I watch as he's writing with his neon-green gel pen and realize that as I am telling him what dessert I want, he's still writing the word "and" as he's getting through writing the WHOLE DISH NAME down that I ordered. I used to be a waiter and know that typically they try to abbreviate as much as possible to be quick. Then I watch him try to write the dessert I ordered...
Congratulations, Kevin! You learned to abbreviate the order. Took you a minute to figure out how to spell it, but you wrote just DEATH!
He tells us it'll be about 15 minutes and then offers me a refill on my diet pepsi that is less than half-way gone. Ok...so far, decent, if not very fast-paced, service.
For the next several minutes, we laugh about what other occupations Kevin may or may not be suited to work. He is kind of tied up helping someone with a large party order, and we're not in much of a hurry, so we don't mind waiting. Finally, after about 10 or 15 minutes, out come our appetizers...YAY!!! We were both famished! "Sorry that took so long guys! Kinda busy over there! Here are your appetizers."
"No problem. Thanks."
He walks away and in less than a minute returns with our entrees. Ok...a little quick on the entree, but neither of us is complaining. So we make it through the appetizers and start on our entrees and both of our glasses are refilled again...this time just by bringing replacement drinks while both glasses are still about half-way full. (Not complaining, just explaining). I ask for extra napkins, because we both only started with one. He brings back an inch thick stack of cocktail napkins and 4 wet-wipes. Did we look THAT BAD????
We get a few bites into our entrees when Kevin is back asking if we're ready for our desserts yet and if we'd like to go boxes!!!!!
If I was in a bad mood, this probably would have irritated me, but instead, because of my giddiness over how comical his service was, it was all I could do to stay out of fits of laughter. Seriously??? TO GO BOXES??? We hadn't been eating for more than 5 or 10 minutes! We waited longer than that for our food! As outsiders looking in on these two somewhat dishevelled
(from a long day of hot, tiresome work) loonies laughing as their waiter walked away, we must have looked like we were stoned out of our gourds.
Fast forward to dessert. My co-worker was ready for his dessert before I was, and so his dessert was brought out first. When I was ready for mine, Kevin ran...LITERALLY RAN to the kitchen to get it. He brought it out to me and I began to dig in to something that can only be described as sugar topped with sugar on a sugar crust with sugar drizzled on top. Death by Chocolate was really an appropriate name. I told my co-worker that Kevin must have had 3 of these before work.
After a few minutes and nearing the end of dessert, Kevin walks toward us and asks if we're going to be on the same check. I say we are and he turns around and YELLS to the person at the register "YEAH! THEY'RE ON THE SAME CHECK!" and jogs back to the register. When he brings us the check, he sets it down on the table and as sincere as can be says "Sorry if I made you wait too long for anything."
That was more than either of us could handle. We both busted out in laughter before he started walking away. I asked my co-worker "Did he SERIOUSLY just say that???" The only way we could have waited any less time is if he'd had the drinks on the table before we were seated and was bringing us the meal as we read the menus ON THE WAY to our table! I was surprised he didn't somehow already have my credit card to bring back to me with the check when he brought it the first time!
I paid the check, tipped him well, because really...he deserved it. And headed out the door. I couldn't help it...as I walked out I asked the host if Kevin was new...as if I needed validation. She kinda had that "ouch...you really had to ask" kind of look on her face as she said, "yes". I said, "oh, it was good service...just a little quick on the trigger...but he did well!" and we left.
Truly...I hope this was as comical to read as it was to experience!
Monday, March 3, 2008
A little funny
Sometimes I act weird.
Even at work.
I'm an IT Manager and when called to someones desk for help, I like to stand with chest puffed out and hands on hips like I'm superman or something. Yeah, I know...I'm a geek.
So the other day I was standing in the doorway of a co-worker's office in the aforementioned stance. She says to me, "So where's your cape?"
"Today's laundry day," I reply. "Crystal's washing it for me today."
We get a chuckle and that's the end of the first part of the story.
About a week later my co-workers are standing outside smoking and I decide that I could use some socializing so I go stand outside to chit-chat with them while they fumigate their lungs. I decide to stand in my super-pose again...I don't know why. Remember - I'm a geek. So the previously mentioned co-worker is there and says, "is your cape STILL in the laundry?" and I said, "what, you think I only ever wear it at work?"
We chuckle and then I said "you watch, I'll come to work one day wearing a cape."
She says "will you put a giant I.T. on the cape?"
"On the CAPE??? No! On my chest...like superman!"
Another lady in the group chimes in and says, "it?"
I explain, "I.T. - Information Technology"
"I know," she says "But that's what people will think when they see you. It?"
I get clever. "Well, I COULD title myself Super Human Information Technology."
No laughter. They didn't get it.
I had to explain it.
Then they laughed because it was VERY funny.
Maybe you had to be there.
Even at work.
I'm an IT Manager and when called to someones desk for help, I like to stand with chest puffed out and hands on hips like I'm superman or something. Yeah, I know...I'm a geek.
So the other day I was standing in the doorway of a co-worker's office in the aforementioned stance. She says to me, "So where's your cape?"
"Today's laundry day," I reply. "Crystal's washing it for me today."
We get a chuckle and that's the end of the first part of the story.
About a week later my co-workers are standing outside smoking and I decide that I could use some socializing so I go stand outside to chit-chat with them while they fumigate their lungs. I decide to stand in my super-pose again...I don't know why. Remember - I'm a geek. So the previously mentioned co-worker is there and says, "is your cape STILL in the laundry?" and I said, "what, you think I only ever wear it at work?"
We chuckle and then I said "you watch, I'll come to work one day wearing a cape."
She says "will you put a giant I.T. on the cape?"
"On the CAPE??? No! On my chest...like superman!"
Another lady in the group chimes in and says, "it?"
I explain, "I.T. - Information Technology"
"I know," she says "But that's what people will think when they see you. It?"
I get clever. "Well, I COULD title myself Super Human Information Technology."
No laughter. They didn't get it.
I had to explain it.
Then they laughed because it was VERY funny.
Maybe you had to be there.
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